


Would You Change It If You Could?

by ValaSidra



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Consideration on life, Gen, Implied bad childhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValaSidra/pseuds/ValaSidra
Summary: Keith has a painful past. When Lance asks him a difficult question, how does he answer?
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Voltron Paladins
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Would You Change It If You Could?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I feel like I am on a roll right now. Fifth story in two days! This story was inspired by a question that I asked myself recently when thinking of a less than stellar family member. I then started thinking about how Keith would react in the situation that I have in this story. I have a question for those reading. If you could change anything in the past, would you? Please enjoy and leave thoughts in the comments!

> Before you can live a part of you has to die. You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally recognize that truth then you will understand the true meaning of forgiveness of yourself and others. From this point you will finally be free. - Shannon L. Alder

* * *

Keith did not have a happy beginning. His father was a hero, but he died in that profession. Keith was left alone at a young age. He was shoved onto the cold and cruel world. Foster care was not kind, and it held no mercy. He was given back because his violet eyes made him too weird. His strange intelligence made him too different. When he wished for someone to hold him after a nightmare, he was too clingy. However, when he avoided touch, he was too aloof. There was no way to balance. It was impossible to make everyone happy. He grew detached from people. He had little to no social interaction throughout his childhood. This led him to struggle with how to communicate. When he was accepted into the Garrison, it was a dream come true. Despite that, it wasn’t perfect. He didn’t have any friends other than Shiro. He appeared closed off and it led to others ignoring him. He had his own methods of coping with the crushing loneliness. He would hug himself, though it looked like he was crossing his arms. It was a difficult journey to learn how to express himself to Shiro. He failed in so many ways. He would yell. He would snap. He would even run off. Shiro never gave up on him. They formed their own language. It was based off of his past--in a way. He never learned how to truly express the emotions he felt. He could hardly tell what they were. He was still learning them when he went into foster care. He connected feelings with things that happened. He told Shiro what it was like with a specific family or when they did a specific thing. It became their code. If he was happy, he would say “hoverbike”, and Shiro would know that he was happy. When he was scared, he would say the name of the family that caused him the most fear. That was how he learned to express them. Now he was questioning a bit. They were on a planet full of empaths. He had no idea what they would be able to tell about him. Would they say he was broken? Would they say he was messed up? He didn’t know. He could only hope.

“They are called the Cari. They are empaths that focus on mending the tears in one’s self,” Allura attempted to explain to Pidge. 

Pidge was trying to look at it from a scientific perspective while the reality was that it was an emotional one. There was no true science behind the people. No one knew why they were the way they were, but they accepted it and tried to help. 

“Pidge,” Keith said softly, “Think of it as a brain surgeon for emotions. After all, emotions form in the brain.”

Pidge contemplated the way that he said it. It made sense. She didn’t even pause to consider how he had come up with it. Lance had laughed at the fact the people were based on emotion.

“Oh! They must have an easy time telling what emotions he has then,” he taunted, pointing at Keith, “He only has two. Angry and brooding.”

Keith felt hurt well inside of him. It had been building for a while from Lance’s careless taunts. He looked around for Shiro while hugging himself. He needed to talk to Shiro. Shiro caught his gaze as Keith mouthed, “Fredrick’s”. That was all Keith needed to say before Shiro was ushering him out the door. Once they were in the safety of Keith’s bare room, he broke down. He knew he was different from the others. For one he was Galra, but he also lacked the ability to empathize as well. They were all masters at telling their feelings apart while he was a baby drowning in the large pond. He knew he still had so much to learn. The year alone hadn’t helped at all. He was not feeling prepared for the trip, but he dredged up his resolve and forced his tears to subside. 

“Sorry,” Keith whispered, “I don’t know what came over me.”

Shiro hushed him softly and replied, “It is fine. He dug into an old wound is all. We all need a good cry now and then.” 

Keith knew that there was no way of telling how bad he was going to get before he felt better, so he only nodded and let Shiro leave. They were going to be on the planet the next day for meetings and a dinner. Keith was dreading it with every fiber of his soul. 

~~~

The next day started out well. There were no attacks in space or on the surface, and everyone appeared to be welcoming. The only thing he found unnerving was the fact that everyone stared at him. It was as if they saw something that was precious and that should be treasured. He would soon learn what it was. Allura had joined the King and Queen of the planet in a different room with Shiro. Lance had wandered off to try to flirt with girls while Pidge followed to keep him from being socked in the face. Only Hunk and Keith were left.

“Is it just me, or is everyone staring at you?” Hunk asked quietly.

Keith leaned over to whisper, “I noticed it too. It is really . . . unnerving.”

Hunk nodded in agreement before they continued to stand there. Pidge and Lance came back fast with Lance grinning from ear to ear. He was apparently told that he had a well balanced emotional scale. The Queen also came over, after the meeting was done, to talk to them with Allura and Shiro in tow.

“Your Red Paladin is truly a miracle, you know,” She told Allura.

“Oh?” Allura inquired, “He is remarkable, but what makes him a miracle?”

“His emotional capacity to learn, of course,” the Queen replied with a blinding smile, “He is the only person we have ever seen with such mental scars that hold the child-like ability to grow with their emotions.”

Lance let out an incredulous laugh, “Your Majesty, are you sure? I am pretty sure the only emotions he has is anger.”

She gave a sad smile, “They are the only ones he knows how to identify and express,” she explained, “After all, we can’t learn about them without being taught.”

This placed Keith in an entirely new perspective for the others. He was no longer the loner paladin. He was the paladin that was learning and growing. He did learn and grow. Years after that meeting, Keith was able to truly express how he felt in terms of joy, sadness, anger, peace, and love. He had grown and changed. He had healed. One day he was sitting on a cliff’s edge on Earth. The sun setting on the horizon, setting the sky aflame. He was joined by Lance. Lance had returned to his family with joy in his heart once the war was over. He had laughed and cried. He also remembered. He remembered how lonely Keith had been before Voltron. It had him thinking. Wondering.

He sat down next to Keith on that cliff’s edge, feeling as if it was a symbol for how bad the conversation could go as he asked, “Would you change it?”

Keith looked at him in confusion, “What?”

“If you could go back in time and change anything about your past, would you?”

Keith sat there for a moment, thinking about the question and finding the true answer. “No,” he finally replied, “I wouldn’t change anything.”

“Really? No even that your dad died?”

“Even that. I wouldn’t be who I am now without the past. I learned to let go. Especially of the what if’s. I had wanted to change how people had thought of me, but I realized that I had no control over that,” a bitter smile crossed his lips, “People would have thought what they wanted to, even if things had been different. If things had been different, I might not have met you all.”

Lance thought about what Keith said. He saw the wisdom in his words. He thanked Keith and walked inside to go to bed. He knew that Keith wouldn’t change anything. He also knew that he wouldn’t change anything. Perhaps the world was just right. Perhaps no one should want to change it if they could. Maybe that was how things should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I asked you the question at the beginning as a way to open your mind a bit. Get you thinking about it. If there was anything you wished you could change, do you wish you weren't who you are now? If the answer is yes, what can you do to improve yourself now. Not in the past but now. If the answer is no, why would you want to change it? It made you who you are today. Thank you for reading and thinking on these questions. If you want to let me know your thoughts on the questions or story, please leave a comment. I try to reply as fast as possible, and I love receiving them! Stay safe!


End file.
